Love,
Mama
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Dear dearest Lovie...
In a few hours, you will be seven days old. My heart has never been so full, my mind has never been so peaceful, and my soul has never been so fulfilled as it has now that you are here. I have so much to say to you that the only way to express it is in silence. I am starting this blog in attempts to write at least one sentence every day that is inspired by you. I love you Harper - you are our dreams come true and the most clear expression of love that the Lord has ever shown me.
Your Birth Story - The Short Version
The birth was so amazing and perfect. I was able to feel the contractions build (instead of being thrown into death-defying pain from the jump), and the entire labor was 5 hours. Mike's parents were in the room through a lot of the labor, until the contractions got so painful that I needed to really focus through them. We were really glad to have them there for the time that they were. We shared memories, laughs, and good conversation, and Mike's dad said a prayer for us. They are really special people, which is a truth that undulates over time. They left at 11 pm and headed home which was a perfect time for them to leave, so Mike and I could welcome her into the world as our little unit. Mike was an amazing and supportive labor partner - I'm sure no one is shocked, lol.
I started pushing at 1:36 am and out she came at 1:50 am. No cuts, no pain, nothing bad at all. Mike was on my right, and he was able to watch the whole thing - I thought he would pass out, but he was enthralled and loved being able to watch her be born. He even surprised himself and cut the umbilical cord. She came out and a few seconds later was that beautiful cry - she came out with LUNGS, lol. They put her on me, cleaned her off, and I gave her a hug and a kiss and immediately asked that she be handed to Mike. I think he died in that moment. He needed that moment, and I can't describe how beautiful all of it was. I always dreamed of a labor and delivery exactly like this, and as seems to be Mike's MO in my life, that came true.
And then there was this absolutely beautiful, perfect, healthy baby girl. I have never seen anything so wonderful in all of my life. She was and is perfection. I thought I would cry, I didn't. I was just filled with the holiest peace and amazement. I had this awakening in my spirit that came to me as if I'd always had it. She was a truth that had always existed, and at once, she was this wonderful culmination of a love I had shown to and shared with her father, who is the true other half of my soul. I am not intimidated by this perfection, nor do I have any standards or expectations - just sheer faith and joy in her existence and the blessing of her presence in my life - now and always. As if God was finally saying to both of us ...You have both done so well in the depths of your hearts, and I love you, and I recognize your love, and please enjoy her and love her, and know that this is a gift from Me to your marriage. It was a time for a true celebration, a quiet, peaceful, immaculate expression of joy that happened in gazes at each other and this wonderful little girl we held in our arms.
I started pushing at 1:36 am and out she came at 1:50 am. No cuts, no pain, nothing bad at all. Mike was on my right, and he was able to watch the whole thing - I thought he would pass out, but he was enthralled and loved being able to watch her be born. He even surprised himself and cut the umbilical cord. She came out and a few seconds later was that beautiful cry - she came out with LUNGS, lol. They put her on me, cleaned her off, and I gave her a hug and a kiss and immediately asked that she be handed to Mike. I think he died in that moment. He needed that moment, and I can't describe how beautiful all of it was. I always dreamed of a labor and delivery exactly like this, and as seems to be Mike's MO in my life, that came true.
And then there was this absolutely beautiful, perfect, healthy baby girl. I have never seen anything so wonderful in all of my life. She was and is perfection. I thought I would cry, I didn't. I was just filled with the holiest peace and amazement. I had this awakening in my spirit that came to me as if I'd always had it. She was a truth that had always existed, and at once, she was this wonderful culmination of a love I had shown to and shared with her father, who is the true other half of my soul. I am not intimidated by this perfection, nor do I have any standards or expectations - just sheer faith and joy in her existence and the blessing of her presence in my life - now and always. As if God was finally saying to both of us ...You have both done so well in the depths of your hearts, and I love you, and I recognize your love, and please enjoy her and love her, and know that this is a gift from Me to your marriage. It was a time for a true celebration, a quiet, peaceful, immaculate expression of joy that happened in gazes at each other and this wonderful little girl we held in our arms.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Blessing from Ben
When Ben was born, I didn't know *how* to give him what he needed. I gave him bunches and bunches of love, but I was so very young and not ready, no matter how much I tried to or wanted to be. Harper is going to get a lot of blessing from the hard work that Ben has honed...even years before she was born, Ben has been protecting and loving her by teaching Mommy what a child needs - the hard way. We were thrown to the wolves, but I'm a fast learner, and this little lady came right on time. Ben is very vocal about how much he loves her, and is excited about her. I'm amazed at how naturally he bonds with her...I have two really amazing kids.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Awake & Alive
I am 100% content in this moment.
I've never dreamed this big.
I've never loved so much.
I've never dreamed this big.
I've never loved so much.
Friday, October 25, 2013
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